YOU’RE ALIVE!
for now
① ADOPT A NEW
DEATH-ITUDE
“my name is ______________ and I will die someday.”
memento mori
[məˈmenˌtō ˈmôrē]
noun
remember you must die.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. “
- Steve Jobs
“I wanted a perfect ending, so I sat down to write the book with the ending in place before there even was an ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Like my life, this book has ambiguity. Like my life, this book is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, not knowing.”
- Gilda Radner, The Book of Life
BE HAPPIER,
THINK ABOUT DEATH MORE
podcast
interviews with with 70 notable people over 70. Learn how to make the most of the time we have left.
“At your healthiest, living is a process of dying.”
- BJ Miller via ny times “what is death”
WHAT TIME IS IT?
DEATH CLOCK
It’s time.
WE CROAK APP
Don’t forget, you’re going to die…
EPITAPH GENERATOR
YOU DIED, LET’S SEE WHAT’S WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO FORGET ME (1971) by artist timm ulrichs
“A life for art: this can only mean a life in preparation for death, to shape it, to stage it, as a climax and as a culmination point.”
② do WHAT MATTERS
MOST AT THE END (now)
Having a good death is about having a good life.
PEACEFUL DEATH
[pees-fuhl] [deth]
verb
Tie up loose ends and let go of YOUR BULLSHIT©.
Tell people that you love and appreciate them.
Forgive everyone (including yourself).
Ask for forgiveness from the people you no longer have relationships with (see YOUR BULLSHIT©).
EXAMPLES
Hoʻoponopono the hawaiian practice of setting things right by saying these 4 statements.
I love you.
Thank you.
I forgive you.
Forgive me.
SEE SYNONYMS @
THE CORNELL UNIVERSITY LEGACY PROJECT
Life lessons from our oldest and wisest.
THE STANFORD MEDICINE LETTER PROJECT
Templates to tell those who matter most, that they do.
Questionnaires to find out what matters most, then document it (see ③ below).
Available in 8 languages
a memento mori for the modern age. A global art project that invites people to reflect on their mortality and consider the things that matter most.
Twelve essential questions to tell a life story by steve leder.
③ get these DOCUMENTS
plan your dying, ⏎ return to living
ADVANCE CARE DIRECTIVE
This is a legal document that is a combo of a living will and health care proxy designation. It instructs who makes decisions when you can’t and what your end of life care wishes are.
Why is this important?
Doctors don’t know what your goals and values are. Their job is to prolong your life. If you value quality of life over quantity of life then you should have an Advance Care Directive.
Polst
a polst is a medical order on how first responders treat you during an emergency. Boost your ACD with one of these.
acd vs. polst what’s the diff?
Polst/molst/dnr/etc
what’s the diff? slight differences to communicate your wishes during an emergency.
Resources
NHPCO
learn all about advance care directives and download your state’s form.
National institute on aging
U.S. Dept of Health and human services official website.
written in everyday language, it is a legal advance care directive that also covers personal, spiritual, medical and legal wishes all in one document. You can also store it via My directives. It’s a little more palatable than the average ACD.
get an acd then put this card in your wallet
photo by juergen teller
ACD DEMENSCH BOOST
Edit and add this document to your basic acd for a highly specific and comprehensive directive.
WILL
This document spells out where your assets are distributed after you die.
Get one here
SO SHINES A GOOD DEED IN A WEARY WORLD.
PRE PLAN YOUR FUNERAL
whether it’s on a scrap of paper, in your five wishes, or contracted through a funeral home, it’s better to have a plan so your loved ones don’t have to figure it out and you get what you want and can afford.
GET IT FIGURED IT OUT HERE
MY WONDERFUL LIFE
PLAN YOUR FUNERAL SO YOUR LOVED ONES DON’T HAVE TO.
EVERDAYS
pre-buy your funeral.
parting
comparison shop services and funeral homes.
ORGANIZE
In Case of Death Folder
1. Make a folder in your cloud (google drive, dropbox, desktop, phone folder).
2. Create an emergency contact in your address book labeled “In Case of Death”. Put a link to the folder in there with login information.
3. Share with someone you trust.
4. put this ACD card in your wallet so people know you have one.
STORage
ONLINE SOLUTIONS FOR ALL YOUR IMPORTANT INFO
trustworthy
The family operating system. Get all your stuff organized in one place.
Everplans
One stop spot for all your important info: wills, insurance, digital accounts, health info. Share it with your people.
U.S. Advance Care registry
Secure storage of ACD plus other forms like polst, molst, and DNR. Makes them accessible to healthcare providers.
MYLO APP - mind your loved ones
app to store advance directives along with other key medical information such as medications, physician contacts, insurance information, medical notes, and any other important info.
good trust
secure digital-legacy platform for your websites, social media, online accounts and documents that easily allows you to share access now with trusted individuals or when you pass away.
digital legacy
IRL… ASAP
TAKE INVENTORY OF YOUR DIGITAL ASSETS
Once you know what you have, you’ll be able to plan what happens to it and who will manage it. Think in big categories: your personal files—including cloud or local storage of your photos, videos and documents—as well as email, social-media and financial accounts.
ADD A DIGITAL EXECUTOR TO YOUR WILL
Name a person to receive permission to access your digital files and online accounts when you die. In some states, your existing executor may automatically get this ability, but it’s worth asking your attorney to specify someone, especially if the job would be better handled by somebody other than your executor.
ADD DIGITAL HEIRS TO YOUR ACCOUNTS
Some tech companies allow you to assign someone to take some actions directly through the account. On Facebook, add a legacy contact who will have the power to memorialize or delete the account. On Google, add an Inactive Account Manager, who can download data.
PLAN TO PASS ON YOUR PASSWORDS
Wills don’t contain your online accounts and passwords. If you keep all your passwords written down somewhere, make sure your executor knows where to find them.
RECORD YOUR STORIES
Decide how you want to record your life stories. One big decision: video or audio? When you record, be specific, capturing visceral and emotional details from your most important memories. Store the files someplace safe but accessible.
④ TALK DEATH
with others
yadda yadda yadda
They’re dying.
Make it easier at the end for everyone.
DEATH OVER DINNER.
share stories while breaking the news* and bread.
*you’re dying and I’m dying. But you’re closer to dying than me.
go wish game
a card game that helps you identify your values that are important at the end of life (and now!)
Swedish Death Cleaning
Free yourself, unburden others. apparently Amy Poehler optioned this book for a tv show.
R.I.P. Terry Schiavo
The Death Deck
A friendly set of questions to get the convo going. “Have fun with some taboo talk.”*
*Also, it’s not taboo!! We are all going to die. Just stop deluding yourself.
