YOU’RE ALIVE
Life is the leading cause of Death
① ADOPT A NEW DEATH-ITUDE
“my name Is [ ] and I will die someday.”
Photo by Andrew Casey
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” - Steve Jobs
Memento Mori
[məˈmenˌtō ˈmôrē]
noun
Remember you must die.
“At your healthiest, living is a process of dying.”
BJ Miller
Be Happier, think about death more.
“I wanted a perfect ending, so I sat down to write the book with the ending in place before there even was an ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Like my life, this book has ambiguity. Like my life, this book is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, not knowing.”
- Gilda Radner, The Book of Life
WHAT TIME IS IT?
It’s time.
Don’t forget, you’re going to die…
You died, let’s see what’s written on your tombstone.
② DO WHAT MATTERS MOST AT THE END (like, now)
Having a good death is about having a good life.
PEACEFUL DEATH
[pees-fuhl] [deth]
Verb
Tie up loose ends and let go of YOUR BULLSHIT©.
Tell people that you love and appreciate them.
Forgive everyone (including yourself).
Ask for forgiveness from the people you no longer have relationships with (see YOUR BULLSHIT©).
Examples
Hoʻoponopono the Hawaiian practice of setting things right by saying these 4 statements:
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
LEGACY WORK
THE CORNELL UNIVERSITY LEGACY PROJECT
Life lessons from our oldest and wisest.
THE STANFORD MEDICINE LETTER PROJECT
Templates to tell those who matter most… that they do.
Questionnaires to find out what matters most, then document it (see ③ below).
A memento mori for the modern age and global art project that invites people to reflect on their mortality and consider the things that matter most. You can download the free toolkit.
Twelve essential questions to tell a life story by Steve Leder.
③ GET THESE DOCUMENTS
Plan your dying, ⏎ return to living.
ADVANCE CARE DIRECTIVE
This is a legal document that is a combo of a living will and health care proxy designation. It instructs who makes decisions when you can’t and what your end of life care wishes are.
Why is this important?
Doctors don’t know what your goals and values are. Their job is to prolong your life. If you value quality of life over quantity of life then you should have an Advance Care Directive.
POLST
Having a POLST form translates your wishes into medical orders, so that your end-of-life instructions are clear to emergency personnel and other healthcare providers.
ACD BOOST
Edit and add this document to your basic acd for a highly specific and comprehensive directive.
GET IT HERE
Learn all about advance care directives and download your state’s form.
U.S. Dept of Health and human services official website.
Written in everyday language, it is a legal advance care directive that also covers personal, spiritual, medical and legal wishes all in one document.
KEEP IT HERE
Stick this card in your wallet.
When Harry Met Sally
Ed Ruscha
WILL
This document spells out where your assets are distributed after you die.
Get one here:
Leona Helmsley left her dog ‘Trouble’ million$
PRE PLAN
Have a plan so your loved ones don’t have to figure it out.
Sort it out here:
Plan your funeral so your grieving loved ones don’t need to figure it out
POD
Payable on Death bank account that activates when you die and pays your deathcare costs.
PRE NEED PLAN
Pre-pay your arrangements with a funeral home who puts the funds in a trust account. It locks in pricing which is good. But also limits change of plans.
NOW, KEEP IT ALL TOGETHER!
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Make a folder in your cloud (google drive, dropbox, desktop, phone folder).
Create an emergency contact in your address book labeled “In Case of Death”. Put a link to the folder in there with login information.
Share with someone you trust.
Put this ACD card in your wallet so people know you have one.
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EVERPLANS
One stop spot for all your important info: wills, insurance, digital accounts, health info. Share it with your people.TRUSTWORTHY
The family operating system. Get all your stuff organized in one place.US ADVANCED CARE REGISTRY
Secure storage of ACD plus other forms like polst, molst, and DNR. Makes them accessible to healthcare providers.MYLO APP
App to store advance directives along with other key medical information such as medications, physician contacts, insurance information, medical notes, and any other important info.GOOD TRUST
Secure digital-legacy platform for your websites, social media, online accounts and documents that easily allows you to share access now with trusted individuals or when you pass away. -
IRL… ASAP
TAKE INVENTORY OF YOUR DIGITAL ASSETS
Once you know what you have, you’ll be able to plan what happens to it and who will manage it. Think in big categories: your personal files—including cloud or local storage of your photos, videos and documents—as well as email, social-media and financial accounts.
ADD A DIGITAL EXECUTOR TO YOUR WILL
Name a person to receive permission to access your digital files and online accounts when you die. In some states, your existing executor may automatically get this ability, but it’s worth asking your attorney to specify someone, especially if the job would be better handled by somebody other than your executor.
ADD DIGITAL HEIRS TO YOUR ACCOUNTS
Some tech companies allow you to assign someone to take some actions directly through the account. On Facebook, add a legacy contact who will have the power to memorialize or delete the account. On Google, add an Inactive Account Manager, who can download data.
PLAN TO PASS ON YOUR PASSWORDS
Wills don’t contain your online accounts and passwords. If you keep all your passwords written down somewhere, make sure your executor knows where to find them.
RECORD YOUR STORIES
Decide how you want to record your life stories. One big decision: video or audio? When you record, be specific, capturing visceral and emotional details from your most important memories. Store the files someplace safe but accessible.
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Put one together - Get Yours.
④ TALK DEATH WITH OTHERS
Yadda Yadda Yadda
THEY’RE DYING
Help them, help you.
Sort it out here:
How to talk about what matters to you and have a say in your health care.
Share stories while breaking the news* and bread.
A card game that helps you identify your values that are important at the end of life (and now!)
Swedish Death Cleaning
Free yourself, unburden others.
The Death Deck
A friendly set of questions to get the convo going.
